Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
