we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
