If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
