I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
