Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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