let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
