So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
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I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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