my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
