I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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