Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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