I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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