Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
