she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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