cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
