dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
