apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I love you. Go after that dick
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
