Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So squirting runs in the family.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
