So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
