YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
