And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
