Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
