The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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