There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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