I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
