watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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