Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize