hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
well you can't waste a boner
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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