I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
being pregnant is like rehab
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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