omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize