Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dear god my vagina.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize