well you can't waste a boner
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
