I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
People in love make me want to vomit
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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