Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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