bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
