I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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