You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
