Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
