I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Found your dick twin last night
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
