READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
