Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
