I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize