i don't plan on having that self control this summer
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
