it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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