Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
