I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
