Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
