I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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