Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
