Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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