i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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