She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
