alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Randomize
