4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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