Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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