There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
