When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
