it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
