Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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