I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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