just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
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