You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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