he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
