dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
