i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltš
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
āOn a breakā is implied when itās a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
