you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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